The Waiting is the Hardest Part

OK, so I borrowed the title of this blog from a Tom Petty song, but when you’re just sitting at home, on maternity leave, waiting for the “big event” to happen…those lyrics just ring too true not to use. The waiting is the hardest part. And that’s saying something, especially since I’ve gotten to the point in my pregnancy that I almost need a crane to lift myself out of bed in the morning and duct tape to keep my pants from falling down. I have to endure the multitude of “you’re still pregnant?!!” comments when picking my other two kids up from school each day, and, well, the other unpleasant bits that are part of the bargain when growing a human inside you.

Despite all of the aforementioned issues, I have really enjoyed this pregnancy, especially this third trimester. Maybe that’s because I know it will (knocking very loudly on my wooden desk right now) be my last. There’s something bittersweet about it. But also, it’s likely because I’ve just felt, overall, much better physically than with my previous two pregnancies. And I’m considered to be of “advanced maternal age,” so that’s really saying something.

So, for me, the waiting is excruciating. Even for moms like me who have been there and done that (BTDT moms, in BabyCenter lingo), the experience of having gone through labor and delivery previously doesn’t really prepare you for what lies ahead. Unless you’ve got a scheduled c-section planned—which I don’t— there’s no way of telling when exactly this little bundle will come out to join the world. And for a planner like myself, that’s soooo incredibly hard to deal with. Not only is it hard to not know when the big show is going to begin, but it’s the how that also has my granny-sized panties in a twist. Will my water break first? If so, where will I be when it does? Will it hurt as much as last time, or more so? Will I be able to handle it? How big will this baby be, exactly? Will she be healthy?

It’s that last one that’s kept me up at night. Well, that, and the need to pee every two hours with the precision of a Swiss train. I waxed our dining room table with some paste wax (unavoidably smelly and likely not entirely “green”) early on in pregnancy. I’ve also given in to vanity and colored my hair a couple of times during this pregnancy (I might be of “advanced maternal age” but that doesn’t mean I necessarily want to look like it). I’m sure I’ve committed other eco transgressions as well.

So, why am I confessing all of this? I suppose because I’m trying to talk myself down from the crazy ledge and back to the knowledge of what I already know:  that it’s all going to be OK.And even if it’s not, it’s still going to be OK. I’m one tough mama. I’ve got an incredible support system around me. As we all know, there are no guarantees in life–we just take things as they come. But that doesn’t stop a part of me from freaking out just a bit about all the “unknowns” that come with an impending birth. I mean, yes, I am an informed person,  and it’s true that I ought to know better about the daily choices I make (and probably make the right ones about 90% of the time), but it’s also true that I’m only human. I’m prone to things like obsessively polishing out scratches on our antique table before guests arrive, and wanting to hold on to youth a bit longer so I’m not pushing the stroller through the park and asked how old my “grand baby” is.

The other reason is to reinforce to you, the MOMS community, that you’re all human too. If you’re just finding out about this toxic stew we’re all swimming in, welcome to the party. And try not to worry (trying to take my own advice here), about what happened in the past—just focus on the future and how great that’s going to be. All we can do is our best. And what that actually looks like depends on the day, how much sleep we’ve had, how well our pants fit, and whether or not we’ve had enough to eat.

And while we’re on the subject of waiting…we’re all still waiting for the Safe Chemicals Act to pass. That should make doing our best a whole lot easier. Here’s something you can do to help that along right now. No waiting required:

Senator Harry Reid is the man of the moment for the Safe Chemicals Act. Please send a message to Senator Reid asking him to bring the Safe Chemicals Act to the Senate floor this week!

Here’s how to reach him:

1. Are you on Twitter? Senator Reid is too!
Dear @SenatorReid, I urge you to support @SaferChemicals & bring the #SafeChemicalsAct (S. 847) to the floor this fall!

2. Pick up the phone
You can call the Senator’s DC office at 202-224-3542.
If you live in Reid’s district and are calling from a 775 or 702 area code, call 1-866-SEN-REID (736-7343).

3. Encourage your friends on Facebook and Twitter to contact Senator Reid!
Thank you for taking action to support the Safe Chemicals Act. Working together we will pass a strong new law for safer chemicals!

Thanks for reading. I’ll check in from time to time to let y’all know how things are going. I may be on maternity leave, but it’s hard to completely leave my maternal (and over-sharing) instincts lie dormant for too long. Until next time.